Reflections from Ann Lowe, cofounder of The Hope Street Social CIC & Brightstone Clinic
Beginning therapy can feel like a big step (trust me, I know), especially if you’re in the middle of uncertainty, stress, or any number of life transitions.
As therapists, we are encouraged to only share our personal experiences when it’s useful to someone else, and I don’t think I can do justice to this interesting yet complex topic without adding some of my own. These stories aren’t intentionally self-indulgent: instead I hope to bring in the human ‘bit’ that often gets missed amongst the lists of issues and qualifications (don’t worry, I’m offering some help on all of this too).
When choosing a therapist, taking a little time to explore your options and listen to your gut can make a world of difference. While many people begin with recommendations from friends, colleagues, or healthcare professionals, it’s worth remembering that the therapist who helped someone else might not be the best fit for you.
I met the therapist that helped me to transform at an event in the old Hope Street building. She led a short Qi Gong practice to help settle the group and something about the way she held herself told me there was another way to be in the world, other than my tight, anxious self. It wasn’t ‘confidence’, or any of the other ways our culture tells us we have to be, stand or look, but instead something soft and free. I knew I wanted to feel that way too, and so I sent her a message afterwards. It really was a case of following my gut.
This was before COVID, when therapists didn’t work online. Now we have the benefit of being able to search far and wide for someone to support, which is great – until we become overwhelmed with choice.
I personally know all of the therapists listed on this site and have met them in person. I can vouch for their ethics, training and capabilities. The part I can’t do is step into your shoes and make a choice from your gut response, but what I can do here is help you connect with that.
When looking at a therapist’s profile, catch your thoughts and responses. Is this someone you feel you could open up to? Is there anything about the way they look that feels approachable, safe, or even comforting? Or do you find yourself hesitating? Pay attention to that. Sometimes our gut response knows what our mind hasn’t quite put into words yet. It’s not about judging someone on their appearance, but about noticing the subtle ways your instincts guide you toward – or away – from certain connections.
Connecting with a therapist is like making a connection anywhere in life: some people we instantly ‘vibe’ with, while others might not feel like the right fit – and that’s okay. It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with them or you; it’s just a matter of compatibility.
Think about what qualities you value in someone who’s there to support you. Do they seem calm and steady? Do they give off a sense of compassion and understanding? Their photo and words on their profile are just the starting point – it’s okay to trust how you feel, even if you can’t explain why.
Things to Consider When Choosing a Therapist
Professional Memberships and Qualifications
In the UK, therapy isn’t yet statutorily regulated, which means anyone can call themselves a therapist. While regulation is expected to improve in the future, for now, it’s vital to choose someone who is a member of an established professional organisation, such as the BACP or UKCP. Membership ensures they have met rigorous training standards and adhere to a code of ethics.
Therapy Types
Therapy isn’t one-size-fits-all. There are many different approaches, each with its own style and focus. Ultimately, it’s the relationship between you and your therapist that creates the foundation for change. Most therapists will share information about their approach—such as person-centred therapy, CBT, or psychodynamic therapy. A little research can help you identify which approach resonates with you most.
Preparing for Therapy
Therapy is an investment of your time, energy, and money, so it’s worth reflecting on your needs and goals. Here are a few things to think about:
1. Scheduling
How often would you like to meet? Weekly sessions are common at the beginning, helping to build a solid foundation. Over time, you might move to fortnightly or less frequent meetings, depending on your needs. Consider how therapy will fit into your schedule and what adjustments you might need to make (e.g., work or childcare arrangements).
2. Budget
What can you realistically afford? Some workplaces or insurance providers offer schemes that can help with costs, so it’s worth exploring these options if finances are a concern.
3. First Contact
When you’ve found a therapist you’d like to work with, consider having a quick phone call to set up an initial session. This first meeting is a chance to see how you feel about working together. You’ll likely discuss fees, session frequency, and the duration of your work, as well as your reasons for seeking therapy. Don’t hesitate to ask questions about their approach, experience, and qualifications.
Accrediting bodies & organisations
If you’d like to check a therapist’s membership or find more information about professional organisations, the following links may help:
- BACP – British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy
- BABCP – British Association for Behavioural and Cognitive Psychotherapies
- UKAHPP – UK Association of Humanistic Psychology Practitioners
UKCP – UK Council for Psychotherapy